Ego Attacks Are not Always Obvious

[Micheal Jack]

When we think of attack, it usually brings to mind images of war or some sort of physical assault. In A Course in Miracles ( ACIM ), attack means much more than causing bodily harm. We've all been the victim of less obvious attacks where we come away feeling all alone, angry and victimized by others; and in return, we victimize them by retaliating. All attack is considered a call for love because the person is experiencing a condition of the idea of separation. We never attack another unless we already agreed (chose) to believe ourselves separate and different.

Something that is part of the teachings in the Course, but not widely understood as a core teaching, is that anyone who is suffering, in pain, sick, ill, upset, feeling alone, desperate, has problems christian mysticism, needs, lack, etc., is experiencing the belief in separation. What they don't need is someone to attack them and increase their feeling of separation and guilt. This does not heal and only serves to further the ego errors for both the victim and victimizer. The catch is the victimizer (attacker) is also experiencing the separation because they would not attack another if they understood it to be themselves (not separate). Victim and victimizer are the two sides of the same coin of error.

We don't join with brothers until we remove all traces of attack from the mind. Attack is the behavior from choosing with the ego to keep guilt projected on another, versus looking within, and it denies the truth. Withdrawal from attack and correcting our own mind, no matter what, is the key to freedom. If we really want to grasp the Course by practicing forgiveness, we have to learn to catch ourselves in the ego trick of using the Course for attack. It's very covert (hidden and not obvious) until you realize how it works and that it follows the very principles the Course is training the mind to give up as ego judgments.

Course Students

As Course students, we can be some of the most awful victimizers and very unkind towards others under the guise of knowing the Course teachings. We forget that our primary focus is on paying attention to how we feel about what we are perceiving in another. We never attack, and are never upset, for the reasons we think.

It is never, ever about the other person except for the gift they give you in reflecting back to you where you need to correct your mind because of how you are judging them. Those judgments on them (projections) are really your own self-condemnation judgments. If we don't correct our mind, we repress and hide our own guilt and end up attacking another. Being Course students, the weapon of choice is the Course itself.

Course Judgment

An uncorrected mind (ego) throws the book at someone. We cite everything we can remember and will even search the Course for more just to make our point. The goal is to make sure the offending person knows everything they are not doing to correct their mind, i. e., what they're still doing wrong and yes (judge and jury), what they just don't get. Nothing gets left out. They have to get all the principles and they have to get it now.

We deny that we don't "get it" as well which is apparent by us not correcting our mind first. Ignoring our own anxiety and fear, our concern is for ourselves and what another's problems or lack of Course understanding says about us. If they can't get it, then maybe we can't. We're wanting them to prove the Course works by hitting them with it. If we repeat the attack often, and to many people, then some of it is bound to sink in and prove us right.

Remember, we only attack in this fashion because we're still perceiving ourselves separate; and we're trying to make someone deep in feeling the separation prove to us that we're not separated. Any form of insisting, demanding or trying to force Course comprehension and correction on another is only about ourselves and what we're denying. If our mind is corrected, we're at peace and have trust. If we've really accepted the Atonement, we have faith and no reason to push Course stuff on anyone.

Joining a Brother

What it means to join a brother is very clear in the Course but it takes the practice of forgiveness (correcting the mind) to understand how to join. We have a fear to look within our mind because of the belief that we might see sin. Getting enough correction of the mind (forgiveness) eventually brings up the question about sin not really being there.

Of all the times we forgive the fear and guilt and the associated judgments, never do we end up seeing, perceiving or looking upon sin. We cannot as it's only an idea and not real. Once this realization is apparent, the Course points out that our freedom is only partial. We're on the road to salvation (right-mindedness). Now we must join with our brothers. It's the way to remember God.

Ending the idea of Separation

Joining is only done in the mind and if you want to end the idea of separation so you're completely right-minded (salvation), the next step involves your brothers. You may not understand that they are fragments of your mind; but to remember who they are, you must go back to step one in the Course and take back your projections off another and correct your mind no matter what the situation. Attacking with the Course is still keeping your projections in place. You have to put what the Course says into practice in all ways, and at all times, to get complete correction of the mind.

Minds are sick that think (believe) they're separate regardless of the way it shows up in form. As an attacker, your mind is as "sick" as the person you are attacking even if you are using the Course for the attack. Judgment is judgment.

The beauty of the Course is in the forgiveness process. When we correct our mind first, we change the internal Teacher to the One who is kind and loving and knows everything for everyone equally. Look at the Course. Even when conveying some of the darkest messages, it has a very kind and loving tone. Nowhere does it ever say that we should use the book as a weapon to make sure everyone gets it. Therefore, our job is to return our mind to this Teacher and take Him with us to join another who is experiencing the separation and not contribute to it seeming worse.

People always let us know what will make them feel better. With the right Teacher, we can comply with what they're asking (in form) because we see that the fear and guilt behind their request is the same fear and guilt in our mind as well. That recognition ends the illusion of separation and joins the mind. We all have to do it with each and every person in our lives. If we're not willing to do that, we are unhealed healers because we're judging another and condemning the form request they're making for comfort.

Our job is not to correct someone, force the Course teachings or shove the words at them. Thus, it can be appropriate not to use the Course teachings (or even its words). With the right Teacher, our words and actions would naturally be kind, loving and compassionate. What heals is the light in the mind shining with the strength of God. Another's mind recognizes itself and will ask different questions to make different choices. You might not even say a word. Healing is with the true Healer which is extended through you in the joined mind. Minds that are perceiving separation (sick) don't heal. They attack.

A Teacher of God is not someone who can cite the Course against another. He is someone who has deliberately chosen to remember that his interests are the same as everyone else's interests. Joining with others at any level, his mind is full (mindful) of the characteristics of defenselessness, faithfulness, open-mindedness, gentleness, tolerance, generosity, patience, joy, honesty and trust to all brothers as one.